by Michelle Maynard Koenig

“When the time comes, you are awakened as if from a dream. You understand that what you have found is your own and does not come from anywhere outside.” ~Buddhist Sutra

I am awake.

After several decades of existing day in and day out, following her expectation, his expectation, their expectation, everyone’s expectation except my own, I woke up. I look back upon those years and it seems as if I was napping in a dream state. Sort of like twilight sleep. I had the sense of what was going on around me, but didn’t have spark to light my purpose, to manifest the crazy-beautiful work of wonders my presence could manifest.  Sadly, in that twilight state, I remained firmly curled up in a suffocating world of comfort and safety.

Don’t get me wrong, there’s a lot to be said for feeling safe and secure. One of my favorite places is wrapped in the strong, loving arms of my husband. But to my benefit, as much as I would like to stay there indefinitely, his unselfish love for me encourages and challenges me to venture life, to explore the unknown, step outside of my comfort zone and just be … BE. Existing in this magnanimous life filled with ups and downs, light and dark, love and hate, joys and sadness, entices many to play it safe, to maintain the status quo, to accept that, well, this is basically as good as it’s going to get.

Fortunately, I am now aware of what works for me, what I need to do or not do. You know, the kind of work that a lot of us avoid: i.e. self-questioning/inquiry, moving with change, and the hardest of hard: the letting go. However, when existing in life no longer works, and you have no other option than to give up and die, look and explore deeper within. You may be surprised to find a gazillion reasons why playing it safe no longer is an option, but embracing life and living is.

My experience has been that unless I fully connect with my truth, how am I able to connect with world, the universe, with honesty, integrity and respect? I know! I know! Words are easier said than done. But I can promise you I have been at some very dark, low points. When I “woke” up from napping through life, I had an adamant determination to do “the work” and keeping doing the work indefinitely to bring about an abundance of awesomeness not only for myself, but for the world around me. Tapping into the source within has strengthened me with the audacity to embrace life and BE.

It has taken me 40 years to find that kind of serene-mojo after napping through life.  Now, I tune in life’s dial to “I’m so freakin’ ready to receive” and the focus switch to “you go girl, you can do ANYTHING!”