Bloom Where You Are Planted
by Michelle Maynard-Koenig
This poem is dedicated to all of the “dandelions” in the world. Keep facing the sun of your truth and grace our universe with your beauty!
Not everyone appreciates dandelions,
like they do pristine roses,
mowed down as unwanted weeds
and simply disposed of.
But I see each of us as flowers
in the garden of life,
with diverse stems and petals
contrasted in width and height.
Roses, Poppies, Daisies,
Ivy, Lilies, and Orchids so blue,
Sunflowers, Carnations, Cattails
Peonies and Dandelions, too.
Each having unique existence of
personality, beauty and purpose,
with nectar of love and kindness
that radiates into the universe.
So wherever you are planted
among people, places, and things,
fear not being mowed down
as an unappreciated weed.
Bloom where you are planted
at home, work or school,
allow the light of your being
grace the universe with your truth.
Do You Carry A Moral Compass?
This day I breathèd first–time is come round,
And where I did begin, there shall I end.
My life is run his compass.
~Shakespeare
We all have a moral compass. A magnificent intangible tool to guide us through the journey of existence in this life. As a fan of self-inquiry, I came across a terrific website that contains a understandable description of moral compass. The site is called www.moralcompass.com:
‘A useful way to think about your “moral compass” is to think of it like an ordinary compass with true North representing Integrity, South – Forgiveness, East -Compassion, and West – Responsibility. These four universal principles are honored in some form by people of all races and religions, regardless of gender.’
Pretty cool, huh? Want to try something interesting? Fred Kiel, Ph. D. and Doug Lennick collaborated in creating an assessment that gives you an indication of what kind of of moral compass you currently possess. Click here to take the free assessment.
I am also a fan and subscriber of a website called Good Life Zen. A site maintained and contributed to by Mary Jaksch. An individual passionate about supporting people who want to lead a happier and more meaningful life. Mary recently shared on her a site a wonderful article written by Leah McClellan. An article congruent with the “Moral Compass” awareness. I share it forward with you below.
5 crucial reasons to carry a moral compass
This morning I took advantage of warmth and sunshine to do some early spring cleanup in my front lawn.A few dried-out clumps of tall ornamental grasses should have been cut back in the fall, and their long stalks have been blowing around the neighborhood all winter.It was time to take care of business.I raked and picked up in my neighbor’s yard first, all the while hoping they wouldn’t come home.
The relationship has been strained. I don’t know what’s going on, but their attitude toward me has gone into negative territory, and for my own peace of mind I’ve kept a polite distance.
I’ve felt a little hurt and annoyed, but that doesn’t mean it’s OK for my ornamental grasses to be scattered like hay all over their lawn.
A small part of me didn’t feel like doing them any favors. But that wasn’t a favor—it was a responsibility. The dried-out grass stalks were mine, and there’s no reason they should litter my neighbor’s lawn. Ergo, clean it up.
Very simple. Cut and dried.
I hope we’ll be friendly once again, but meanwhile I might as well keep things as peaceful as possible.
following my moral compass is a big help.
I often depend on it.
A few years ago, a different neighbor expressed surprise and gratitude that I didn’t respond angrily when he complained about my bamboo popping up in his yard.
Why should I be angry? I’d been meaning to install a barrier to keep the invasive roots of my little bamboo stand from spreading, but I was too late. It was my responsibility.
Again, cut and dried. I dug up the roots, smoothed out the soil, and replanted grass in the neighbor’s yard. I also installed the root barrier on my side. Easy-peasy.
i keep my compass close wherever i go, even while driving.
My compass says it’s not OK to yell at people or curse at them; instead, I want to be compassionate. This keeps me in line when someone lays on the horn and flips a finger at me for tardiness after the light turns green.
That doesn’t mean I don’t feel like giving someone an earful sometimes or that I haven’t ever. Far from it. But it’s not worth the aggravation.
knowing my ground rules keeps a lot of peace in my life even during stressful times.
I admit it’s hard to keep the compass pointing due north when a situation involves someone close to me, someone who can hurt me far deeper than any neighbor ever could.
But even though I don’t always follow it perfectly, my moral compass stops me from going down a path to nowhere—doing or saying something I’d truly regret.
And it also protects me from others who aren’t following the same kind of compass that I follow.
do you carry a moral compass?
I don’t mean a list of rules and regulations based on religion, traditional morality, or rules your parents instilled in you that you follow blindly, though many of those guidelines are great.
I mean a custom-designed, uniquely-your-own, tailored-to-fit moral compass that you lean on when the going gets tough.
some of the direction points on my compass look like this:
- Respect others no matter who they are and expect the same
- Be helpful to others and ask for help when I need it
- Honor promises and obligations and apologize when I can’t
- Stick with honesty and expect the same from others
- Acknowledge, validate, or say thanks whether in person or online
- Assume goodness in others and know they’re doing their best
- Remove myself when someone’s best isn’t in my best interest
I have many more like that in different categories—public life, friends, close relationships—but you get the idea. I don’t always live up to them as well as I might, but if I’m lost, I know how to find my way again.
Here are five crucial reasons to keep a moral compass in your pocket at all times.
1. A moral compass provides guidelines in tricky situations.
Let’s say you’re on a second or third date with someone you hardly know. He’s pushy in a way that’s uncomfortable. Or she’s getting a little too physical way too soon for you. You want to slow things down tactfully, but how? Your moral compass gives you the confidence to say “I really want to know you better first” before things get out of hand.
2. A moral compass can make up for shortcomings.
Maybe you’re traveling and get lost in a small town where you don’t speak the language—and nobody speaks yours. What do you do? Rely on courtesy, humility, and respect to ask for help and get you back on a well-traveled road. Gestures and drawing pictures help, too, but more people want to help someone who’s pleasant than someone who isn’t.
3. A moral compass can keep love alive.
In any close relationship, conflicts happen. Lovers get hurt, partners get frustrated, children get angry. Deciding on “the right thing” to do, no matter how difficult, can mean the difference between a screaming, cursing, blaming session or weeks of silence and a conflict resolved in a way that works for everyone. Of course, what that “right thing” is might have to get figured out first.
4. A moral compass can protect you.
My moral compass says it’s not OK to be rude to me, lie to me, speak disrespectfully to me, or in any way treat me poorly, especially not as a pattern or without explanation and discussion. This is often called boundaries, and it gives me confidence to move forward in a situation or step back—or even out.
5. A moral compass can help your business flourish.
Morality in business? Sure. Whether it’s called business ethics or a moral compass, what company survives with unfriendly, unhelpful customer service? How long do employees last, assuming they have a choice, if management belittles them, treats them unfairly, or makes unethical decisions that affect everyone? I’ve heard Steve Jobs was near impossible to work with, but surely the rewards offset the difficulties.
Back to the neighbors and my errant grass stalks turning their lawn into a hayfield.
Maybe they didn’t notice. Or didn’t care. It doesn’t matter. I know I’m doing my small part in being a good neighbor.
doing “the right thing” never hurts, and it might help.
But if I didn’t keep my moral compass in my pocket, I might say “Oh, to heck with it. They’ve been rude to me, so why be nice to them?”
But why feed the flames?
I like my neighborhood, and though it’s not always Pleasantville, my moral compass keeps it from becoming Nastyville. At least on my side of the street.
Leah McClellan is a writer and copyeditor dedicated to peaceful living and helping other writers develop their craft.
Self-Inquiry Homework: What about you? Do you carry a moral compass? How does it help you? Write what you discover in a personal journal.
Once Upon A Time …
by Michelle Maynard Koenig
Once upon a time there was a girl
who feared happiness
. . . now she laughs
who feared to speak
. . . now releases her voice
who feared imperfection
. . . now dances with truth
who feared death
. . . now trusts life
who feared love
. . . now introduces her soul to everyone
who feared tomorrow
. . . now welcomes today
who feared yesterday
. . . now recognizes its lessons
who feared the burden of doubt
. . . now soars on the wings of courage
Once upon a time there was a girl
who journeyed into her own;
nothing is ever as bad as it seems
nor is it as good as it can only be.
She finds the possible in the impossible
and life is like a dream.
The Art of Giving: Don’t Hold Your Breath
Many thousands of years ago a great sage in Babylon said “The reward of charity depends entirely upon the extent of the kindness in it.”
It is one of life’s wonderful paradoxes that you limit the power of your giving by having an expectation of getting something in return. When you give without any thought or desire for something back, your returns will be truly limitless.
Your life is like a river of energy, continually flowing. What happens when a river stops moving? It get very muddy, and stagnant. A fast flowing river is full of life and clear water. Where would you rather drink?
The acts of giving and receiving are a continuous process of circulation that continues the flow of your life’s energies. Giving and receiving, it’s a cycle of energy in perpetual motion.
Pause for a moment as you read this, and take a big, deep breath. Hold it for as long as you possibly can. As you hold it inside, notice how uncomfortable you begin to feel when you are holding on to something that is meant to be released.
Now exhale completely and hold your breath with your lungs fully emptied. Feel how uncomfortable you feel when you are resisting receiving something that you need: air!
The act of giving doesn’t have to be limited to an exchange of presents at holidays or birthdays. You can treat every person, place and thing you come in contact with as an opportunity to give. It could be a kind word, a simple smile, some appreciation, the sharing of some special knowledge, even a helping hand or a bit of support during a difficult emotional time.
Don’t hold your breath. True giving, without expectation of anything in return is as effortless as breathing. Let your true essence flow!
No Apologies
by Michelle Maynard Koenig
I make no apologies for smiling
where light of the heart contrasts the darkness of fear;
I make no apologies for honesty
in witnessing my soul embracing itself in another soul;
I make no apologies for inquiring
the divine greater-than-I-am-and-know that expands boundaries of awareness;
I make no apologies for gratitude
for all that sustains;
I make no apologies for harmony
the concerto of life;
I make no apologies for love
the source of everything;
I make no apologies for being
everything and nothing
an infinite masterpiece.
Do You Know Your “No?”
“Live your daily life in a way that you never lose yourself. When you are carried away with your worries, fears, cravings, anger, and desire, you run away from yourself and you lose yourself. The practice is always to go back to oneself.” – Thich Nhat Hanh
Learning to Say “No” – It May Be Easier Than You Think
by Sandra Pawula
When someone asks you for time, pause. Tune into the alarms that are telling you the truth:
- Your stomach tightening
- Feeling annoyed
- A flattening of joy
- A pulling back
- A forced smile
- A voice in your head that wants to respond, “Are you out of your mind?”
Practice new scripts so you can say no with grace.
- “Thank you for asking, I would be happy to help. I charge XYZ. Are you ready to start?”
- “I’m honored you asked, but I won’t be able to help right now.”
- “Let me think about it. I’ll get back to you tomorrow.”
Avoid saying “yes” right off the bat. Take your time and examine the pros and the cons. Ask yourself seriously if the new task fits comfortably in the agenda of your life. If it’s hard to say “no” in person or on the phone, then send an email or letter instead.
If you still want to give, remember you don’t have to give it all. You really can give an hour instead of a whole day. You can offer one idea instead of preparing a full essay. So consider how you can give in a balanced and workable way. Determine your limits and state them in a clear and confident voice. Others will be grateful when you mark a straight line.
When I practiced saying “no”, I discovered it was easier than I ever thought. “Hey, I can do this! I’ve done it once!” The slogan “Just Do It” applies like a charm. I was then encouraged to go on a 30-day fast from saying “yes” to others instead of myself.
You’ll find most people aren’t bothered. They will adjust. They’ll sort out the problem all by themselves or find another friend who can assist. Often, “indispensability” is just a phantom we’ve conjured up in our own head. In reality, life carries on just fine without us.
Understand Your True Purpose
Knowing your true purpose is the the best way to stay on track.
- “What is my personal mission?”
- “Why am I in this life?”
- “Is it to give endless favors or to accomplish a larger goal?”
These are the questions next in line to ask. They will take you one step further to saying a full “yes” to yourself.
Design each day with your mission at the top of the list. By staying true to your ultimate purpose, you will accomplish the greatest good and serve others in a far more effective and intentional way.
Ready to Say “Yes” to You?
Getting to “yes” is a journey, there’s no miracle pill. Chances are your adrenalin will pump the first few instances you reclaim your time. But the sense of liberation will also bring you great joy. So just keep moving forward whatever tests come your way. It will get easier and easier as each victory seeds the next.
No matter how long you’ve been over-giving, you can bring it to a stop. If I can do it after eons of relentless giving, I know you can too.
Sandra Pawula is a freelance editor, writer, and inner explorer. She shares simple wisdom for a happy life at Always Well Within.
Perspective
Through eyes of peace,
I see all life a gift.
Through eyes of fear,
I see myself captive.
Through eyes of forgiveness,
I see humanity soar.
Through eyes of anger,
I see darkness roar.
Through eyes of serenity,
I see the power of stillness.
Through eyes of intolerance,
I see with blindness.
Through eyes of shame,
I see not my purpose.
Through eyes of clarity,
I see honesty courageous.
Through eyes of hate,
I see the soul bleed.
Through eyes of love,
I find everything I need.
Chung Fu: Inner Truth
Nine at the beginning [yang at bottom] means:
Being prepared brings good fortune.
If there are secret designs, it is disquieting.Nine in the second place means:
A crane calling in the shade.
Its young answers it.
I have a good goblet.
I will share it with you.Six in the third place means:
He finds a comrade.
Now he beats the drum, now he stops.
Now he sobs, now he sings.Six in the fourth place means:
The moon nearly at the full.
The team horse goes astray.
No blame.Nine in the fifth place means:
He possesses truth, which links together.
No blame.Nine at the top means:
Cockcrow penetrating to heaven.
Perseverance brings misfortune.
(Chung Fu [I Ching])
The wind blows over the lake and stirs the surface of the water. Thus visible effects of the invisible manifest themselves. The hexagram consists of firm lines above and below, while it is open in the center. This indicates a heart free of prejudices and therefore open to truth. On the other hand, each of the two trigrams has a firm line in the middle; this indicates the force of inner truth in the influences they present.
The attributes of the two trigrams are: above, gentleness, forbearance toward inferiors; below, joyousness in obeying superiors. Such conditions create the basis of a mutual confidence that makes achievements possible. The character of fu (“truth”) is actually the picture of a bird’s foot over a fledgling. It suggests the idea of brooding. An egg is hollow. The light-giving power must work to quicken it from outside, but there must be a germ of life within, if life is to be awakened.
THE LINES
Nine at the beginning means:
Being prepared brings good fortune.
If there are secret designs, it is disquieting.
The force of inner truth depends chiefly on inner stability and preparedness. From this state of mind springs the correct attitude toward the outer world. But if a man should try to cultivate secret relationships of a special sort, it would deprive him of his inner independence. The more reliance he places on the support of others, the more uneasy and anxious he will become as to whether these secret ties are really tenable. In this way inner peace and the force of inner truth are lost.
Nine in the second place means:
A crane calling in the shade.
Its young answers it.
I have a good goblet.
I will share it with you.
This refers to the involuntary influence of a man’s inner being upon persons of kindred spirit. The crane need not show itself on a high hill. It may be quite hidden when it sounds its call; yet its young will hear its not, will recognize it and give answer. Where there is a joyous mood, there a comrade will appear to share a glass of wine.
This is the echo awakened in men through spiritual attraction. Whenever a feeling is voiced with truth and frankness, whenever a deed is the clear expression of sentiment, a mysterious and far-reaching influence is exerted. At first it acts on those who are inwardly receptive. But the circle grows larger and larger. The root of all influence lies in one’s own inner being: given true and vigorous expression in word and deed, its effect is great. The effect is but the reflection of something that emanates from one’s own heart. Any deliberate intention of an effect would only destroy the possibility of producing it. Confucius says about this line:
The superior man abides in his room. If his words are well spoken, he meets
with assent at a distance of more than a thousand miles. How much more
then from near by! If the superior man abides in his room and his words are
not well spoken, he meets with contradiction at a distance of more than a
thousand miles. How much more then from near by! Words go forth from
one’s own person and exert their influence on men. Deeds are born close at
hand and become visible far away. Words and deeds are the hinge and
bowspring of the superior man. As hinge and bowspring move, they bring
honor or disgrace. Through words and deeds the superior man moves
heaven and earth . Must one not, then, be cautious?
Six in the third place means:
He finds a comrade.
Now he beats the drum, now he stops.
Now he sobs, now he sings.
Here the source of a man’s strength lies not in himself but in his relation to other people. No matter how close to them he may be, if his center of gravity depends on them, he is inevitably tossed to and fro between joy and sorrow. Rejoicing to high heaven, then sad unto death-this is the fate of those who depend upon an inner accord with other persons whom they love. Here we have only the statement of the law that this is so. Whether this condition is felt to be an affliction of the supreme happiness of love, is left to the subjective verdict of the person concerned.
Six in the fourth place means:
The moon nearly at the full.
The team horse goes astray.
No blame.
To intensify the power of inner truth, a man must always turn to his superior, from whom he can receive enlightenment as the moon receives light form the sun. However, this requires a certain humility, like that of the moon when it is not yet quite full. At the moment when the moon becomes full and stands directly opposite the sun, it begins to wane. Just as on the one hand we must be humble and reverent when face to face with the source of enlightenment, so likewise must we on the other renounce factionalism among men. Only be pursuing one’s course like a horse that goes straight ahead without looking sidewise at its mate, can one retain the inner freedom that helps one onward.
Nine in the fifth place means:
He possesses truth, which links together.
No blame.
This describes the ruler who holds all elements together by the power of his personality. Only when the strength of his character is so ample that he can influence all who are subject to him, is he as he needs to be. The power of suggestion must emanate from the ruler. It will firmly knit together and unite all his adherents. Without this central force, all external unity is only deception and breaks down at the decisive moment.
Nine at the top means:
Cockcrow penetrating to heaven.
Perseverance brings misfortune.
The cock is dependable. It crows at dawn. But it cannot itself fly to heaven. It just crows. A man may count on mere words to awaken faith. This may succeed now and then, but if persisted in, it will have bad consequences.
(The source of the above commentary can be found at http://deoxy.org/iching/61. For more information on I Ching, visit http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_Ching.)
Maybe Hopefully
by Michelle Maynard Koenig
If you tell her
she is crazy,
she smiles and sighs,
Maybe.
She dances not
with slander and hate,
she is a free spirit
of love and grace.
Marching to the
beat of her own drum,
she lives out loud,
though ostracized by some.
She searches for herself
in all she finds,
admiring diversity
with an open mind.
What is normal,
she asks smiling,
is it conflicts,
lies and fighting?
Is normal hurting others
with malice and strife,
frowns on faces
and fearful eyes?
What about gratitude
and joyful tears?
Is it normal to live
without attentive ears?
Humility and humbleness,
where do they fall
within the world of normalcy
for one and all?
The Universe is seen in her eyes,
the truth within her heart,
she is a living example that
you cannot cage a polestar.
If you tell her
she is crazy,
she smiles and sighs,
Hopefully.
Is It A Good Time To Chillax?
“You can only see in someone else what you see in yourself.” ~Alan Cohen
A list of tips and tricks to help us wiggle our way out of the jaws of worry. Here are some of my favorites:
1. Stop the “What if’s”—The outcome of your mistakes is not as bad as you think; it’s the “What if?” that causes unnecessary worry.
2. Ditch All That Stuff—When your home (or workplace) is a mess, it causes mental clutter and anxious thoughts. Declutter and only keep items that you need, use or love.
3. Just the Facts, Ma’am—Challenge your assumptions. They are often wrong, and negative assumptions are unfounded if you don’t have all the facts.
4. Make More Mistakes—If you’re not making enough mistakes, you’re not taking enough risks!
5. Get a Second Opinion—Talk to someone else for an unbiased view of the situation, but don’t get your second opinion from a negative person.
6. Rock Your Worries Away—The motion of swaying back and forth can calm your body and mind when you’re stressed. So let’s get rockin’!
7. The Truth and Nothing But…—When you’ve had a breach of integrity, acknowledge it and make amends; don’t let it erode your inner peace.
8. It’s Okay to Look Foolish—Stop obsessing over what others think; no one ever died from embarrassment. Really!
9. Don’t Give Up—Never judge your success by your first effort. You need to make a last three attempts.
10. Be a Warrior, Not a Worrier—The next time a worry comes up, ask yourself: Will it really matter 12 months from now? Move on!
Imagine spending the next week not worrying about looking foolish, making mistakes, or spending excess time on matters that won’t mean squat a year from now. Doesn’t that make you feel CALM already?
(from “Stay calm…stay calm…STAY CALM!” by “worry management expert,” Denise Marek!)
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