She Let Go
A poem written by Rev Safire Rose
She let go.
She let go. Without a thought or a word, she let go.
She let go of the fear.
She let go of the judgments.
She let go of the confluence of opinions swarming around her head.
She let go of the committee of indecision within her.
She let go of all the ‘right’ reasons.
Wholly and completely, without hesitation or worry, she just let go.
She didn’t ask anyone for advice.
She didn’t read a book on how to let go.
She didn’t search the scriptures.
She just let go.
She let go of all of the memories that held her back.
She let go of all of the anxiety that kept her from moving forward.
She let go of the planning and all of the calculations about how to do it just right.
She didn’t promise to let go.
She didn’t journal about it.
She didn’t write the projected date in her Day-Timer.
She made no public announcement and put no ad in the paper.
She didn’t check the weather report or read her daily horoscope.
She just let go.
She didn’t analyze whether she should let go.
She didn’t call her friends to discuss the matter.
She didn’t do a five-step Spiritual Mind Treatment.
She didn’t call the prayer line.
She didn’t utter one word.
She just let go.
No one was around when it happened.
There was no applause or congratulations.
No one thanked her or praised her.
No one noticed a thing.
Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go.
There was no effort.
There was no struggle.
It wasn’t good and it wasn’t bad.
It was what it was, and it is just that.
In the space of letting go, she let it all be.
A small smile came over her face.
A light breeze blew through her. And the sun and the moon shone forevermore.
Do You Know Your “No?”
“Live your daily life in a way that you never lose yourself. When you are carried away with your worries, fears, cravings, anger, and desire, you run away from yourself and you lose yourself. The practice is always to go back to oneself.” – Thich Nhat Hanh
Learning to Say “No” – It May Be Easier Than You Think
by Sandra Pawula
When someone asks you for time, pause. Tune into the alarms that are telling you the truth:
- Your stomach tightening
- Feeling annoyed
- A flattening of joy
- A pulling back
- A forced smile
- A voice in your head that wants to respond, “Are you out of your mind?”
Practice new scripts so you can say no with grace.
- “Thank you for asking, I would be happy to help. I charge XYZ. Are you ready to start?”
- “I’m honored you asked, but I won’t be able to help right now.”
- “Let me think about it. I’ll get back to you tomorrow.”
Avoid saying “yes” right off the bat. Take your time and examine the pros and the cons. Ask yourself seriously if the new task fits comfortably in the agenda of your life. If it’s hard to say “no” in person or on the phone, then send an email or letter instead.
If you still want to give, remember you don’t have to give it all. You really can give an hour instead of a whole day. You can offer one idea instead of preparing a full essay. So consider how you can give in a balanced and workable way. Determine your limits and state them in a clear and confident voice. Others will be grateful when you mark a straight line.
When I practiced saying “no”, I discovered it was easier than I ever thought. “Hey, I can do this! I’ve done it once!” The slogan “Just Do It” applies like a charm. I was then encouraged to go on a 30-day fast from saying “yes” to others instead of myself.
You’ll find most people aren’t bothered. They will adjust. They’ll sort out the problem all by themselves or find another friend who can assist. Often, “indispensability” is just a phantom we’ve conjured up in our own head. In reality, life carries on just fine without us.
Understand Your True Purpose
Knowing your true purpose is the the best way to stay on track.
- “What is my personal mission?”
- “Why am I in this life?”
- “Is it to give endless favors or to accomplish a larger goal?”
These are the questions next in line to ask. They will take you one step further to saying a full “yes” to yourself.
Design each day with your mission at the top of the list. By staying true to your ultimate purpose, you will accomplish the greatest good and serve others in a far more effective and intentional way.
Ready to Say “Yes” to You?
Getting to “yes” is a journey, there’s no miracle pill. Chances are your adrenalin will pump the first few instances you reclaim your time. But the sense of liberation will also bring you great joy. So just keep moving forward whatever tests come your way. It will get easier and easier as each victory seeds the next.
No matter how long you’ve been over-giving, you can bring it to a stop. If I can do it after eons of relentless giving, I know you can too.
Sandra Pawula is a freelance editor, writer, and inner explorer. She shares simple wisdom for a happy life at Always Well Within.
The Last Meeting of Two Brothers: A Love Story
When you attain, when you are aware, increasingly you will not be bothered about labels like “awake” or “asleep.” One of my difficulties here is to arouse your curiosity but not your spiritual greed. Let’s come awake, it’s going to be wonderful. After a while, it doesn’t matter; one is aware, because one lives. The unaware life is not worth living. And you will leave pain to take care of itself. ~Anthony De Mello
| This is the story of the first meeting between two brothers, their last meeting, and of family events that took place in the interval. THE FIRST MEETING On the afternoon of the 29th of July 1944, a 13-year-old boy ran from his home to visit his mother in a maternity hospital in Bombay, India. His thoughts ran faster than his legs, for the hour of destiny had arrived. The boy’s future would be golden as he planned—if the newborn sibling were male. But the boy’s future would be of iron—the iron of an apprenticeship in the railways—if the sibling were female. The 13-year-old boy was Tony deMello, and I was the newborn infant. When Tony saw me, he said with joy: “… So now I can become a Jesuit priest!” THE LAST MEETING He was in the United States to conduct seminars on spirituality via a satellite linkup with 600 colleges in the US and Canada, and I was in Manhattan, sent by my Australian employers to work on a particularly interesting global project. In a telephone conversation earlier that day Tony had assured me that he had recovered from jet lag after the long flight from India. But as the evening progressed Tony complained of stomach unease. This should have rung warning bells in me…Tony NEVER complained…he was always at peace with whatever fate dealt him. After dinner we sat in a room to chat, and he left me briefly to take some medication. It did not help. What was planned as a few precious hours spent together was cut short by his increasing discomfort. He said he was tired and wished to retire early. |
 © Copyright Bill deMello Before parting, we agreed to meet later in the year at his Retreat House in India. Our last minute was spent in a big hug and we farewelled each other with choked emotion. The next morning Tony was found dead on the floor of his room. A day later Tony’s body was laid out in the chapel of Fordham University. He looked so vibrantly alive that I could neither believe nor accept that he was dead. I broke down and sobbed … we had much unfinished spiritual business left unresolved. I went through the usual feelings of anger … Why did he have to die? Of sadness … I will never see him again. Of pain and guilt … I should have guessed he was going in for a heart attack and done something about it. Mostly of shock and disbelief … How could a seemingly healthy man, who had been given a clean bill of health by an eminent US heart specialist only months earlier, die of a heart attack? Should we call it fate, destiny, or God’s will? Those questions will remain unanswered till we brothers meet again; who knows where, who knows when. |
Until his sudden death on June 2, 1987, Fr. Tony de Mello was the director of the Sadhana Institute of Pastoral Counseling near Poona, India. Author of five best selling books, renowned worldwide for his workshops, retreats, and prayer courses, he aimed simply to teach people how to pray, how to wake up and live.
Most people, he maintained, are asleep. They need to wake up, open up their eyes, see what is real, both inside and outside of themselves. The greatest human gift is to be aware, to be in touch with oneself, one’s body, mind, feelings, thoughts, sensations.
For more information on the Anthony De Mello and his teachings, please visit www.demellospirituality.com. The site contains spiritual themes and exercises that can enrich and transform your life.
Chung Fu: Inner Truth
Nine at the beginning [yang at bottom] means:
Being prepared brings good fortune.
If there are secret designs, it is disquieting.Nine in the second place means:
A crane calling in the shade.
Its young answers it.
I have a good goblet.
I will share it with you.Six in the third place means:
He finds a comrade.
Now he beats the drum, now he stops.
Now he sobs, now he sings.Six in the fourth place means:
The moon nearly at the full.
The team horse goes astray.
No blame.Nine in the fifth place means:
He possesses truth, which links together.
No blame.Nine at the top means:
Cockcrow penetrating to heaven.
Perseverance brings misfortune.
(Chung Fu [I Ching])
The wind blows over the lake and stirs the surface of the water. Thus visible effects of the invisible manifest themselves. The hexagram consists of firm lines above and below, while it is open in the center. This indicates a heart free of prejudices and therefore open to truth. On the other hand, each of the two trigrams has a firm line in the middle; this indicates the force of inner truth in the influences they present.
The attributes of the two trigrams are: above, gentleness, forbearance toward inferiors; below, joyousness in obeying superiors. Such conditions create the basis of a mutual confidence that makes achievements possible. The character of fu (“truth”) is actually the picture of a bird’s foot over a fledgling. It suggests the idea of brooding. An egg is hollow. The light-giving power must work to quicken it from outside, but there must be a germ of life within, if life is to be awakened.
THE LINES
Nine at the beginning means:
Being prepared brings good fortune.
If there are secret designs, it is disquieting.
The force of inner truth depends chiefly on inner stability and preparedness. From this state of mind springs the correct attitude toward the outer world. But if a man should try to cultivate secret relationships of a special sort, it would deprive him of his inner independence. The more reliance he places on the support of others, the more uneasy and anxious he will become as to whether these secret ties are really tenable. In this way inner peace and the force of inner truth are lost.
Nine in the second place means:
A crane calling in the shade.
Its young answers it.
I have a good goblet.
I will share it with you.
This refers to the involuntary influence of a man’s inner being upon persons of kindred spirit. The crane need not show itself on a high hill. It may be quite hidden when it sounds its call; yet its young will hear its not, will recognize it and give answer. Where there is a joyous mood, there a comrade will appear to share a glass of wine.
This is the echo awakened in men through spiritual attraction. Whenever a feeling is voiced with truth and frankness, whenever a deed is the clear expression of sentiment, a mysterious and far-reaching influence is exerted. At first it acts on those who are inwardly receptive. But the circle grows larger and larger. The root of all influence lies in one’s own inner being: given true and vigorous expression in word and deed, its effect is great. The effect is but the reflection of something that emanates from one’s own heart. Any deliberate intention of an effect would only destroy the possibility of producing it. Confucius says about this line:
The superior man abides in his room. If his words are well spoken, he meets
with assent at a distance of more than a thousand miles. How much more
then from near by! If the superior man abides in his room and his words are
not well spoken, he meets with contradiction at a distance of more than a
thousand miles. How much more then from near by! Words go forth from
one’s own person and exert their influence on men. Deeds are born close at
hand and become visible far away. Words and deeds are the hinge and
bowspring of the superior man. As hinge and bowspring move, they bring
honor or disgrace. Through words and deeds the superior man moves
heaven and earth . Must one not, then, be cautious?
Six in the third place means:
He finds a comrade.
Now he beats the drum, now he stops.
Now he sobs, now he sings.
Here the source of a man’s strength lies not in himself but in his relation to other people. No matter how close to them he may be, if his center of gravity depends on them, he is inevitably tossed to and fro between joy and sorrow. Rejoicing to high heaven, then sad unto death-this is the fate of those who depend upon an inner accord with other persons whom they love. Here we have only the statement of the law that this is so. Whether this condition is felt to be an affliction of the supreme happiness of love, is left to the subjective verdict of the person concerned.
Six in the fourth place means:
The moon nearly at the full.
The team horse goes astray.
No blame.
To intensify the power of inner truth, a man must always turn to his superior, from whom he can receive enlightenment as the moon receives light form the sun. However, this requires a certain humility, like that of the moon when it is not yet quite full. At the moment when the moon becomes full and stands directly opposite the sun, it begins to wane. Just as on the one hand we must be humble and reverent when face to face with the source of enlightenment, so likewise must we on the other renounce factionalism among men. Only be pursuing one’s course like a horse that goes straight ahead without looking sidewise at its mate, can one retain the inner freedom that helps one onward.
Nine in the fifth place means:
He possesses truth, which links together.
No blame.
This describes the ruler who holds all elements together by the power of his personality. Only when the strength of his character is so ample that he can influence all who are subject to him, is he as he needs to be. The power of suggestion must emanate from the ruler. It will firmly knit together and unite all his adherents. Without this central force, all external unity is only deception and breaks down at the decisive moment.
Nine at the top means:
Cockcrow penetrating to heaven.
Perseverance brings misfortune.
The cock is dependable. It crows at dawn. But it cannot itself fly to heaven. It just crows. A man may count on mere words to awaken faith. This may succeed now and then, but if persisted in, it will have bad consequences.
(The source of the above commentary can be found at http://deoxy.org/iching/61. For more information on I Ching, visit http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_Ching.)
What Goes Around, Comes Around
“This universal energy, that makes up everything in our existence, moves in a circular nature, which means that it returns back to itself.” Joe Rapisarda
The old adage, “what goes around, comes around” simplifies the concept. Applying this to me and my life, it is clear to see that whatever I put out into the Universe and give to others, I receive back. Whether I am loving, honest and compassionate, or hateful, deceitful, and malicious, my actions in this moment and every moment is the catalyst creating my Karma. I find it worthwhile before acting or reacting to a person, place or thing, whether in business, relationships, family, nature, etc., to just stop and breathe.
To read more on Karma, Joe Rapisarda has written a book entitled, “Awaken Your Power,” that is very insightful and is of great assistance for those looking inward for awareness.
The Reach
by Michelle Maynard Koenig
To the infinite unknown I reach,
easier today than days long past,
further tomorrow than the day at hand,
within a divine Universe of abundant
awareness,
balance,
love,
strength,
truth:
Life.
Photo courtesy of The Lonely Dancer
I KARMA
ME, MYSELF and I
NOWINGLY
CCEPT
ESPONSIBILITY for
Y
CTIONS
WORD OF THE DAY: “HARMONY”
har·mo·ny/ˈhärmənē/
| Noun: |
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| Synonyms: |
accord – agreement – peace – symmetry – unity
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Music creates order out of chaos: for rhythm imposes unanimity upon the divergent, melody imposes continuity upon the disjointed, and harmony imposes compatibility upon the incongruous.~Yehudi Menuhin
I recently read an article by Rev. Marty Troyer regarding facing conflict in your day to day life in a harmonious way. I cringe at facing conflict. I truly do feel I am allergic to it. The more I evolve the easier it gets, but I still would rather bungee off a cliff than face conflict!
What do I classify as conflict? Conflict for me is going against the natural grain of my existence and all that entails. I strive to live a life of integrity (not perfection) and to speak my truth. Sometimes doing so creates conflict or tension. If I stay centered in harmony, and not allow fear of conflict throw me off balance, I am able to behave in ways that are congruent with my thoughts, words and actions. I am able to own and take responsibility for my choices. To make choices based on my own beliefs and reasoning, and not on what others believe I should think, say, or do.
Yes, conflict certainly is challenging, and often it is tempting to deny it, run away from it, elude it, bury it, stuff it., etc. As Rev. Troyer further states in his article, “Nothing about dealing with conflict comes natural … but conflict itself is remarkably normal, ordinary, and natural. It’s everywhere, because I suppose, we’re everywhere.”
What I have found, however, is that the most substantial lessons I have learned in life come of, about, or through conflict. I also realize that conflict can be faced with harmony as long as my thoughts, words and actions are aligned.
WORD OF THE DAY: “INTEGRITY”
in·teg·ri·ty/inˈtegritē/
| Noun: |
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| Synonyms: |
honesty – probity – rectitude – sincerity – wholeness
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With integrity you have nothing to fear, since you have nothing to hide. With integrity you will do the right thing, so you will have no guilt. With fear and guilt removed you are free to be and do your best. ~ Zig Ziglar
My life is quite simple. Imperfect, yes, but oh, so, simple. In fact, I can whittle it down to a nice equation:
Integrity + Harmony x Love = Happiness
So, what exactly is INTEGRITY? I suppose that can only be defined by each person. For me, I find the definition in the wonderful teaching of Mahatma Ghandi when he said “happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” In fact, INTEGRITY can be applied not only within, but in all aspects of life: business, government, nature, etc.
You may not see the word “integrity” in Ghandi’s quote, but to me INTEGRITY is the soundness of the whole of I; the elements of which ebb and flow into and out of each other as the waves on an ocean. When one element loses its congruency, then INTEGRITYof the whole of I is compromised.
What does INTEGRITY mean to you?
EACH STEP OF THE WAY
The road of Life rarely moves along
straight and narrow passages;
neither does the road of time,
nor the road of Me,
Myself, and I.
And the depth of vitality accompanying
depends on what is escorted:
gratitude or callousness,
an open mind or prejudices,
compassion or hatred.
Yet the versatility to move along the
curves and planes,
mountains and canyons,
darkness and light,
reside within me.
From a source of
balance and harmony
stillness and serenity
focus and heart,
is my mirror of truth for self-reflection.
The element that affects my
interpretation and judgment,
feelings and perception,
actions and reactions,
each moment, each step, of the way.
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