Monthly Archives: October 2011



The action or process of releasing or being released.
Allow or enable to escape from confinement; set free.
noun.  liberation – deliverance – discharge – relief – exemption
verb.  free – liberate – discharge – set free – let off – let go

Sincere forgiveness isn’t colored with expectations that the other person apologize or change. Don’t worry whether or not they finally understand you. Love them and RELEASE them. Life feeds back truth to people in its own way and time. (Sara Paddison)

What are five things you can RELEASE today?

Lori Deschene of TINY BUDDHA compiled a list of 50 things we can control. If we can control them, then we can also, RELEASE them. Maybe a few or several will resonate with you:

  1. How much effort you exert at work.  [I will RELEASE or let go of perfectionism.]
  2. Your level of honesty.  [I will RELEASE or let go of dishonesty.]
  3. How you act on your feelings.  [I will RELEASE or let go of destructive feelings.]
  4. When you pull out your wallet for luxuries.  [I will RELEASE or let go of wants outside my means.]
  5. Whether or not you compete with people around you.  [I will RELEASE or let go of fear of “being” me.]

(To read more of Lori’s wonderful post, click here.)

The Donkey in the Well – Spirit Lights The Way Blog

Life is going to shovel dirt on us ~ that’s a given.  We either use our troubles as stepping stones to get from where we are to where  we want to be . . . or we end up ”buried alive.”  It’s our choice.

via The Donkey in the Well – Spirit Lights The Way Blog.



  1. A good, affirmative, or constructive quality or attribute.
  1. Consisting in or characterized by the presence or possession of features or qualities rather than their absence.
  2. Constructive in intention or attitude.
  3. Showing optimism and confidence.
certain – sure – absolute – affirmative

There is little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. The little difference is attitude. The big difference is whether it is POSITIVE or negative.
(W. Clement Stone)

Taking the perspective that POSITIVE doesn’t mean perfection, focus on five things today that are POSITIVE in your life!


If life seems jolly rotten,
There’s something you’ve forgotten,
And that’s to laugh and smile and dance and sing.
When you’re feeling in the dumps,
Don’t be silly chumps.
Just purse your lips and whistle.
That’s the thing.
Always look on the bright side of life.
(“Always Look on the Bright Side of Life,” from Monty Python, Words and Music by Eric Idle)

Maybe it was the four mugs of coffee I savored throughout the morning, or the “high on life” feeling that accompanies my gratitude for another day of life, but I just can’t stop laughing at things that seem to irk others to anger, tantrums, and grunts of frustration.

In the office, deadlines were looming, all coming due at the same time. YIKES! The scanner and printer were having issues and, quite frankly, the documents were lacking in the “oomph” department.  It was just one of those days. You know, the kind of day where you run out of paper, sprint to the nearest office supply store, get back to the office and realize you are out of toner, too.  All the while the clock ticks away to zero hour when deadlines come due. “When it rains, it pours!” But, who says you can’t play in the rain?

As much as the stress levels in the office measured 5.5 on the Richter scale, F-Bombs flying from every corner of the building, and whirling insanity was enough to turn a bird CUCKOO, I survived the day. Better than that, I actually found it somewhat FUN and ENTERTAINING, in a peculiar way, because (1) I embrace serenity, (2) I am aware of tumultuous storms of chaos and have a plan in place to remove myself from the flood of negativity to higher ground that provides me a more positive view and (3) I am able to see the humor in human behavior that sits on the wings of frenzy.  Quite entertaining, indeed!

Truly, it was not out of indifference or lack of empathy for the myriad of crises that seemed to accelerate by the negative words and actions spewed by others. I simply have come a long way in the past few years. Kudos to meditation, affirmations and a strong belief in a power greater than my human, fallible Self. The lenses through which I view life are no longer dull, but have been polished bright with the love of life.

I am more than happy to share with you the tools that I utilize to polish any dullness of my day to brightness.

It may sound simple, but the one thing that is always on hand for a quick calming of mind and body is the ability to BREATHE. Yes, that is right. Breathe. Whenever you find yourself in need of calm in the midst of chaos, stop wherever you are and whatever you are doing. Inhale deeply, filling the lungs and belly with as much oxygen as you can, inhaling through your nose, then exhaling slowly through your mouth. Do this five to ten times. Don’t worry, no one will pay attention or even notice.  If you are in public and want more privacy, find the nearest restroom and convert a stall into an impromptu “prayer/meditation” room. Inhale peace, exhale chaos. Inhale courage, exhale fear. Inhale strength, exhale weakness.  Inhale serenity, exhale anger.  Inhale gratitude, exhale selfishness.  Inhale love, exhale hate.

Remember the line from Karate Kid where Mr. Miyagi implored his beloved student over and over: “Focus Daniel-san!?”  We need to focus, too.  To find your focus, ask yourself, “What is my purpose for life today?” “If this is my last day of life, how do I want to spend it?” Focus.  Whenever you feel you are slipping from one side of chaos to another, take a second and remember you have a purpose.  I often focus on the gratitude I have for greeting another day of life.  For me, nothing in life compares to birth and death.  From the moment we are born we come one day closer to death! Everything in life changes, except for two things.  Everyone arrives here through birth and everyone leaves here through death.

Think of life as a terminal illness, because, if you do, you will live it with joy and passion, as it ought to be lived. (Anna Quindlen, A Short Guide To A Happy Life, 2000)

Yesterday is gone, and cannot be re-lived.  Tomorrow is not guaranteed and not yet in existence. All we have is the present moment, the present day. Right now!  (By the time I finish this sentence, ten more seconds will have passed away and a new second of life will be born!)

One thing to always keep tucked away in the pocket of your mind is that things happen in our amazing Universe that are beyond our control, just as well as there are things that are within our control.  For those things we can control, we may not think, speak or do perfectly.  So what!?  Once the moment has passed, another moment is born.  Another moment to learn from past mistakes. Another moment to take a new direction.  Life goes on whether we choose to flow with it or not!  So, let’s go for a ride!

I have shared with you what has, without an ounce of doubt, transformed my life for the better.  It may, or may not, be your cup of tea. That is quite alright. Find what works for you. Once awareness arrives, life is never the same again. It has been through awareness that I am able to view life through the lenses of perspective with clarity. It is through awareness that I find myself looking for the positive in ALL situations.


I close my eyes to see the world
I close my eyes so that it won’t hurt
I’m sailing on blue ocean and flying to you

I catch my breath under the full moon
A star that shines, so pleased to meet you
Maybe I’ll dream forever
And I’d like to love right here

Before the night ends
And dawn of a new day dawns
How I hope, how I hope
That out of this endless blue
Somehow I will find you
Before the night ends,
Before the night ends

I made a choice more than a few times
To walk a road that didn’t end up so right
But I want to go the distance
I’d like to love right here

Before the night ends
And dawn of a new day dawns
How I hope, how I hope
That out of this endless blue
Somehow I will find you
Before the night ends,
Before the night ends

Close my eyes…
Never gonna let up…

Before the night ends
I hope I find you

(written by Yanni)




  1. Pleasing the senses or mind aesthetically.
  2. Delighting the senses or exciting intellectual or emotional admiration;
  3. Of a very high standard; excellent.
handsome – lovely – pretty – fine – bonnie – stunning – graceful

Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful,
we must carry it with us or we find it not.
(Ralph Waldo Emerson)

Today you are alive and you are BEAUTIFUL.



  1. Make the spontaneous sounds and movements of the face and body that are the instinctive expressions of lively amusement.
  2. Be in a fortunate or successful position.
An act of laughing.
Synonyms:  chortle – sniggle – teehee – giggle – hilarity

I’ve always thought that a big LAUGH is a really loud noise from the soul saying, “Ain’t that the truth.” (Quincy Jones)

Look for at least five sources that churn up a bellyful LAUGH today!


No one makes us feel anything without us agreeing to it. The moment we catch the words “you/he/she/they make me feel …” flowing out of our mouths, we need to stop in our tracks and take a moment to think about what we are truly saying. By speaking those words, we are essentially blaming others for what is taking place inside of us.  We are blaming others for our thoughts, our words, and our actions; blaming others for our feelings. Why would we want to give Self away to some outside force? We came into this world alone (unless we are a twin) and we will leave this world alone. We need to take ownership of our feelings and emotions. We are responsible for what we do with them. Instead of stuffing them inside, let’s recycle them!

No one can make you feel
inferior without your consent.
(Eleanor Roosevelt)

Take Ownership Of Self

What happens when we give our power of Self away over and over? It develops into a habit. Instead of transcending into Self and finding the balance, we look outward. The moment a similar opinion comes from another again, a similar action is done by another again, such as someone uses a demeaning tone, someone raises their voice in anger, the habit kicks itself into fourth-gear and away it goes. The hair raises on the back of our neck, the floodgate of emotions flings wide open, and an overwhelming desire to lash out, to blame, shadows the want to take responsibility for our reactions to the actions.


“You make me feel less than.” “You make me so mad.” “You make me jealous.” “You make me feel dumb.” Whenever these words come out of our mouths or in our thoughts, we need to stop, look, and listen; not at anyone other than ourselves. Better than that, we need to inquire of Self what it is we are really trying to convey? It is at that time that we should take a walk, go into another room, go for a ride, wherever there is a place that offers an atmosphere of safety, peace and quiet for recycling the negative into positive. When we are at that “happy place,” Coach Julie Donley, RN, of Nurturing Your Success suggests following these three steps:

  1. Identify the emotion. What are you feeling?
  2. Behind the emotion is a need. What do you need in this moment? What will be of greatest value to you right now?
  3. Take action to meet your need. Perhaps you need to ask for assistance, extend a boundary or take a time out.

Here’s the gist of it all, no one can make us feel fat; no one can make us feel old; no one can make us feel crazy; no one can make us feel inadequate; no one can make us feel anything at all. After recycling (inquiring and reflecting) the “opinions or actions of others,” we may be astonished to find out that it is exposing the issues we need to attend to within ourselves, not in others. If we are confident in our own skin, take responsibility for the choices we make in honest sincerity, then we will find we say “you make me feel …” less and less, and “I feel …” more and more.



  1. the fact that a thing is
  2. the quality or state of elemental or factual existence
  3. the state of things as they are

Civilization and violence are antithetical concepts … nonviolence is not sterile passivity, but a powerful moral force which makes for social transformation. Sooner or later all the people of the world will have to discover a way to live together in peace, and thereby transform this pending cosmic elegy into a creative psalm of brotherhood. I … with an abiding faith in America and an audacious faith in the future of mankind. I refuse to accept despair as the final response to the ambiguities of history. I refuse to accept the idea that the “ISNESS” of man’s present nature makes him morally incapable of reaching up for the eternal “oughtness” that forever confronts him.
(Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.)

What does your ISNESS look like today?  How does it sound today?  How does it act? 


Now lookin’ from the other side of somewhere
I ain’t got all the answers that’s for sure
But if you’re like me
You’re gonna’ have to learn the hard way
‘Cause nobody else can tell you who you are
And part of knowin’ who you are
is knowin’ who you ain’t …
We’re just learnin’ how to walk before we run …
(Lacy J. Dalton, “Walk Before You Run”)

Are you familiar with the idiom run before you can walk? For us to run before we walk would require us to do something before we have mastered the basics. Not very wise, do you agree? We would fall flat on our faces! This leads me to the topic of self-esteem; a topic that we tend to avoid discussing because it usually has a bitter taste to it.

We all are on a journey in life and sometimes that journey goes down paths of abuse, depression, resentment, anxiety, addiction, deceit, and fear, among many. These paths collect a heap of litter that we leave as we travel on along the path. You can imagine, after many years of littering, how the appearance of “Self” must look. Does it look dingy and dreary like a trash dump or does it look crisp and clear like a bright sunny day? It is up to us to deal with the “litter” that we have accumulated and stored away in the room called “Self-Esteem” instead of dealing with it properly.

What exactly is Self-Esteem? According to Karl Perera, Self-Esteem is “your opinion of yourself.” High self-esteem (the crisp and clear sunny day) is a good opinion of yourself and low self-esteem (dingy and dreary trash dump) is a bad opinion of yourself. Taking time to openly and honestly visit Self is the only way to clean up the litter, so that our self-esteem can once again be free to fly. It requires commitment and courage. It is not an easy task and sometimes requires a lot of work, especially if we have allowed a lot of time to pass and a lot of litter to accumulate.

Baby steps.

Do we choose to not open the door to view Self because of familiarity, because we are used to the pain and chaos, the “litter?” If we address the litter, change will follow. Our sense of Self will seem different … like putting on a new pair of shoes. It means a whole new world of unknowns that we must learn to walk through without littering or trashing our Self-Esteem again. Remember, it is through the littering of past experiences that led us to believe we weren’t deserving of happiness or success. Looking at it from this perspective, it is understandable why we choose familiarity over improvement. We need to learn to walk in new shoes before we can run in them. We need to learn to walk, period. Baby steps.

Just as a baby learns to take the first steps beyond the boundary of familiarity, we too need to learn to take similar steps. When we start experiencing even the smallest of victories, sometimes it stuns us. like a dear in headlights, and we become paralyzed by fear to take one more step lest we fall. We are then faced with new expectations; expectations placed on us by ourselves, expectations placed on us by others. Others wanting to see us take off, to run to whatever destination it is we are expected to go. When we don’t run, what is the response we hear from others? Are they discouraging messages? From whom do they come? Parents? Friends? Teachers? Peers? “I don’t even know why you try!” “You’re good for nothing!” “You are so lazy!” “Are you crazy?” After so long of consistently hearing the looping of these negative message, we start believing them, turning them into truth. Guess what happens then if those messages, thoughts, feelings and actions, are not dealt with? It all turns into litter of Self.


Now that we know a bit about how litter of self is create, how it accumulates and the consequences of what happens when it is not dealt with properly, let’s look at some ways we can dispose of the litter properly so we can continue learning to walk, and eventually run. Just as walking is learned, so is the act of littering. Thus, if it is learned, then it can be unlearned. Once it is unlearned, we can replace it with something positive, constructive, optimistic. When you inquire within, and open the door of Self, instead of seeing a room of Esteem full of litter, you could see a room of Esteem full of strength and courage. No doubt, it is easier said than done.

You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection. ~Buddha

When a baby learns to walk, there are many occasions where smaller steps are taken over a span of many days or weeks or months leading up to the day of the first collections of steps that turn into walking. Before even taking his or her first step, a baby will roll over, crawl, sit up, scoot and pull their self up standing. It takes a series of tries and falls, before a baby event attempts taking the first step. In fact, there are many one-step attempts, one after another, until the baby has acquires the skills to walk. Even after learning to walk, there are falls, bumps and bruises. Have you ever seen a baby give up attempting to walk after falling? Maybe he or she will take a breather for a moment or two, but for the most part, the baby will get up and try again and again. Eventually, his or her steps develop more strength, become more stable, and the whole presence radiates an aura of courage and determination.


We are similar to a young baby. We, too, need to learn to walk in hope, success and worthiness, so we can learn to run with a strong sense of self (Self-Esteem). Once we do, we will see with more clarity, absent the collection of dingy and dreary litter in Self. We will be able to run to success, run to the unknown without paralyzing fear or self-doubt, run with optimism while embracing the perspective that there is good in our lives and know the value of our presence in the Universe and among those around us … free from inner clutter. We must master walking before we are able to run; we must know who we are before we can be aware of who we are not!

List five positive things that other people have said about you.
List five positive things you know about yourself.
Compliment five other people, sincerely.
Do a random act of kindness for someone in need.
Journal. Write down your thoughts, feeling and actions, before and after each exercise.